Essential Skills To Learn: How To Be An Effective Negotiator 5/5 (1)


Top strategies for effective negotiation with your customers/counterparts during business communication you need to be aware while you are negotiating next time.

According to Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their book “getting to yes” mentioned that there are four points to remember during negotiation.

People: Separating people from the immediate problem

Interests: You need to focus on interests, not on the position while you are negotiating

Options: Look for mutual gains where both parties can feel win-win situation for them

Criteria: you need to insist on in front of your counterpart that the result needs to be based on some objective standards.

We are social animal and we consciously or subconsciously react emotionally. Emotion can trap us from looking at the problem where we associate us into the problem rather than separating us from the problem.

In most cases, the emotion pushes us toward stubbornness or resentment. Therefore, you need to focus on the problem as a problem solving game rather than taking personally. We need to be hard and soft both as per the context while we are dealing with opposite party. Look from the objectivity to find the solution through asking questions like

Why we are here now?

What are we trying to achieve here?

What are the core concerns here?

What are the biggest challenges you are facing recently?

How does this problem fit into your daily life?

Always remember, every person you are dealing with they are from different backgrounds, society, hold different values or viewpoints. And most of us have cognitive biases, blind spots, irrational logic or perceptions. Therefore, show the psychological commitment to your customer so they can be satisfied through building trust, respect and long term relationship.

People get angry and furious sometimes when their ego takes over. That means, their amygdala (our primitive brain) releases lots of dopamine which stops the passage to transmit the information to our neocortex (our brain part which process all rational thinking).

You need to understand the other party’s prior perception about what made them to think so or act such which may seem irrational for you. Therefore, it is also important to show the other party the required empathy, listening intently to find out “where are they coming from?” and acknowledge that is being said from other party.

Discuss each other’s perceptions through honest manner and use words such as “I am sorry! It seems like…” (Never Split the difference, Chriss Voss) which will help the negotiator to bring the counterpart in the common platform where the other part feels safe and she is valued.

Effective communication is the key for negotiation through which you need to keep the process of negotiating back and forth until your purpose is resolved.

Show the other party the short term consequences and long term consequences (such as political, legal, economical, career wise).

Ask questions like,

Will making that decision prevent something better act in the future?

Is this act consistent with the principle?

What can we do better way?

How can we work better way for better resolution?

Prepare your one page sheet to be prepared for next time while you are negotiating next time which will help you to handle tougher situations, analyzing best/worst-case scenarios, best alternatives to offer to the opposite member (criminals, customer, supplier, employees, husband, wife, any family member). Always remember that it is very hard to keep the focus and be objective during stressful situation for effective negotiation. Maintain your negotiation sheet and update timely to see what is working and what is not working.

Prepare five to six calibrated questions we have discussed above which will give value to your counter party and overcoming potential deal killers.


Please write us at if you have specific individualized queries for negotiation skills improvement in business for clients or employees or business optimization consultation, we would be delighted to help you out.

BoldToLead Team

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